i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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