I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
