I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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