Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
