Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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