I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
