Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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