he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
