just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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