Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
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I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
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She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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