The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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