also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
