Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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