I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
