spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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