just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize