After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
