Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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