Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
