need another drink. this is the easiest way
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
