that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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