Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
