Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
