So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
My pussy is not your playground.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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