seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
