I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize