Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
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