was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
