He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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