he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It's blow job season.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize