I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize