Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
God, I missed his penis.
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