I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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