you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
