Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
