dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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