There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
it's great music for shaving your balls
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
