My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just sucked dick on a ferry
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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