Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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