we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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