just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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