I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
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It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
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You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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