How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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