I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
