Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
