She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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