last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
