there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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