She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
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