his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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