So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize