in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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