my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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