We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
