she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
